[COPIED] Ah sentimism…

Yeah, so today I went to my Grandma’s 88th birthday party. It was pretty fun. Hung out with my cousins and second cousins. Played some pool – I kicked ass haha. Played some shuffleboard too. I actually beat my Dad at pool, but I’m guessing he let me :-\. Had cake, the whole 9 yards. Or as I’ve come to say, the whole 27 feet…

I’ve been reading Prey by Michael Crichton. It’s pretty good, I’ve had it since like Christmas but I only started reading it the other day. If you’re gonna read something by Crichton you gotta have a knack for big, technical terms. But hey, I like it so I read it…

Let’s see, what else has been going on? I reconnected with an old friend of mine the other day. Honestly I don’t know why I did. Maybe because I realized the reason we weren’t talking was entirely my fault (which it was) and after I realized that, I felt REALLY bad… So once again, if you’re reading this, I’m really sorry…

Today is Sunday… That sucks, we have school tomorrow. I’m really not in the mood for school. Sometimes I’m in a mood where school just interrupts my thinking. Like I could go for a week off of school right now. I’d use that week just to think about things. Think about whatever. Ponder those questions that plague my life haha… There was a thing in the book I mentioned before that made a lot of sense to me.

“There’s one problem with all psychological knowledge – nobody can apply it to themselves. People can be incredibly astute about the shortcomings of their friends, spouses, children. But they have no insight into themselves at all. The same people who are coldly clear-eyed about the world around them have nothing but fantasies about themselves. Psychological knowledge doesn’t work if you look in a mirror. This bizarre fact is, as far as I know, unexplained. It’s almost as if you need someone else to tell you who you are, or to hold up the mirror for you. Which, if you think about it, is very weird.”

It made sense to me in that I can provide tons and tons of advice to people about girls. But in the end I can’t use the advice myself. If I could maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be as screwed as I am (not literally of course). I wish I had someone I could just talk to. Someone I could be completely open with, no strings attached, no judgement, nothing to worry about. I used to have someone like that, but then being open with them led to liking them, which led to not talking… I really fucked it up. *Sigh* Is this normal? Normal for me to be this way? Lord only knows…

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