Driver’s Etiquette – Traffic Circles

Oh my fucking shit.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is Carrier Circle in North Syracuse right there.  Normally, life is good at Carrier Circle!  People understand how the fuck to drive, and they handle the circle with no problems.

Today was not my lucky day, apparently.

Here’s a quick run down of the circle’s layout.  Pretty much you have a two-lane circle, with five on-ramp/off-ramps going to various roads.  I was coming up from Route 298 (the southern most point) getting onto the circle.  Coming from 298, it’s a two-lane road itself, and merges with the circle’s two lanes.

Well I’m smart, so I stick to the right lane, because I hate having to merge from left to right while in the circle – it’s a pain.  But nonetheless, some people are in a hurry, so they get in the normally vacant left lane expecting an easy way to get to where they’re going.

So picture this, I’m in the right lane behind another car, and there’s one car in the left lane.  There’s a gap in traffic that’s big enough for all three of us to get out into the circle and proceed to our appropriate locations.  The car ahead of me pulls out and I’m right behind him, all the while FUCKBAG ASSHAT in the left lane pulls out too.  Unfortunately FUCKBAG ASSHAT thought she could ignore the whole “You’re-In-The-Left-Lane-So-Proceed-Into-The-Left-Lane-Not-The-Right-Lane” concept.

That’s right – she didn’t even shoot for the left lane, she went straight for the right lane.  Apparently she didn’t fucking check her mirrors or anything because the place she was trying to merge into?  Yeah, that’s where I was.  So she slammed on her brakes, blared her horn, and did whatever else.  I gave her a nice stern middle finger out the window and start cussing incessantly.  All I could think of was “Are you fucking kidding me?”

RULE OF THE ROAD – You’re in the left lane, you pull out into the left lane.  You’re in the right lane, you pull out into the right lane.  Fucking simple, you stupid fucking idiot!

But nope, she thought she could go from the left lane to the right lane without looking.  Nope.  And then she had the fucking gall to blare her horn at me.  Double nope.  Suck it bitch, you suck at driving.

Blasphemy

What the hell is this?  When I was a little kid, M&M’s were the shit.  Small portable chocolatey goodness.  The best part was the shell, so you didn’t get melted chocolate all over your grubby little child hands.

Well I’m 23 now and I still love M&M’s.  Maybe not to the same degree as a caffeine, sugar-deprived little shit of a 7 year old, but you know.  Now I’m like 160 pounds heavier and still caffeine deprived.  Whatever.  I saw this bag of Hershey blasphemy at the store the other day.

Are you serious?  Yes, I really did see it at the store.  HAHA, not what I meant, but yeah I’m serious, what the hell is that?  Oh hey, we’re gonna remove the shell of the M&M that has prevailed for the greater part of a century and rename it HERSHEY’S DROPS.  Hohoho it’s like a fricken MMORPG, “Oh hey, check out what this bag I just slayed DROPPED.”

Retarded.  That’s what that is.  After a few minutes of sitting in your hand it would be like a giant chocolate seagull took a massive diarrhea shit in your hand.  Wowski, talk about imagery!  My English teacher would be proud.  Hershey, this is a bad idea and a bad product.  Don’t be mad at Mars for beating you to the punch 50 years ago.  Thanks.

EDIT:

As it turns out they make these in different flavors.  Like cookies and cream…!  And they also apparently come with a wax outside.  I think they may have redeemed themselves to a degree.