The Burger Tour – 2017 Edition

This was Photoshopped by me, surprisingly.

That’s right kids.  Today is 2017’s National Cheeseburger Day, so after some contemplation as to what I’d have to eat today – I decided to revisit an evaluation we first tried nearly eight years ago.

The Double Cheeseburger Tour

God damn it’s been a while, and boy how things have changed.  Not sure if McDonald’s remodel had happened back in 2009, but I’m leaning towards not.  But anyway, let’s dive in shall we?

The gameplan was the same.  Hit up Wendy’s, Burger King, and McDonald’s.  Purchase their cheapest double cheeseburger on the menu as well as their cheapest small fries.  Come back, evaluate each on their own and compared with each other, and post the results for the world to see.

Since I was embarking solo this round, I just drove to each spot, ordered the goods, and headed back to my place.  Full disclosure, I did hit up Taco Bell for a Baja Blast because that’s clearly a necessity for this kind of thing.

We’ll start with the visual inspections, then dive into the taste test after.

The Packaging


In following with tradition, everything is ordered left to right BK, Wendy’s, then McDonald’s.  So the first thing worth noting is that BK kind of tossed the fries in the bag.  There were more than a few just hanging out with the napkins and burgar.

Packaging was pretty slick for BK’s and Wendy’s.  Burgers were tight and well packaged.  McDonald’s, on the other hand, was a mess as it was last time and the fries came in a sleeve as opposed to the harder cardboard container.  Same ole, same ole.

All three included some napkins to clean your mug after enjoying your purchase.

The Burgers


The burgers themselves, for your viewing pleasure.  Burger King’s was the tidiest of the bunch.  Nothing out of place, looked good.  Wendy’s had some cheese oozing out the side, but other than that there wasn’t much to complain about.  McDonald’s…  Again with the shenanigans.  Diced onions fucking everywhere.  Color me shocked.

After popping the top off these patties, it became clear that BK has gone the McD’s route and omitted the second slice of cheese on their shit compared with eight years ago.  Shame.  Shame.  Shame.  🔔

McDonald’s loaded the burger with ketchup, but lacked a decent amount of mustard.  Wendy’s went the opposite route, having marginally more mustard than ketchup.  And strangely enough, BK’s burger was a perfect combo of the two.  Nice.

Other than that, each burger was pretty much what you’d expect.

The Fries


So the fry situation…  Wendy’s pulled some shit.  Their’s was pretty empty considering how much they could have fit in there.  Burger King overloaded their’s, which was much appreciated.  McDonald’s obviously still uses their paper sleeve, but there was still a respectable amount of fries to be had.

Visually speaking, BK’s and McDonald’s looked pretty solid.  Wendy’s, as it was last time around, is always either undercooked or overcooked.  In this case, it looked like a weird combination of both.  Mushy as if they were undercooked, burnt looking as if they were overcooked.  Not sure, to be honest.

As for quantity, take a look for yourself.  BK clearly had the most of the three, as I could have told you as soon as I looked in the bag.  Wendy’s, once again, was a fucking disappointment.  McDonald’s, not bad at all.

Burger King’s apparent surplus might be due to the fact that their fries are larger than their competitors, but I wasn’t going to sit down and count the individual number of fries.

So now that we’ve looked at these three’s offerings, let’s jump in and see how it all tasted:

The Taste

I’ll just throw it down right here.  Burger King’s burger was spot on.  Their’s was the best of the three.  It tasted great and you get a decent amount of food for the price.  The consistency of the burger is exactly what you want in a burger – not spongy, not dry.  Their fries, on the other hand, weren’t terrible but they were just missing something.  Could be some additional saltiness or some variation to each fry, something.

Wendy’s Double Stack was the winner eight years ago, and they had potential this time around.  But for whatever reason, their burger had a toughness to it.  The bun was thick and had an almost stale consistency to it.  It was kind of hard, which definitely lost them points.  Their fries were shit, as if you couldn’t tell from the visual side above.  Mushy, unflavorful sticks of potato.  I’m not even going to go further in depth on those.

McDonald’s burger was pretty much garbage.  This one also had a weird consistency to it.  A sponginess like I mentioned above, definitely not a fan.  The number of diced onions was a little ridiculous as well.  The fries, on the other hand, were spot on.  Some were perfectly crispy, some were a little soggy.  Saltiness was great, consistency was great, flavor was great.  Winner winner, Mickey D’s fries dinner.

So for the burger side of things, Burger King wins with McDonald’s being the utmost loserish of the trio.

And on the fries side, McDonald’s wins the crown, and Wendy’s can go die in a fire.

And In Conclusion

Final Cost:

Burger King$3.01$4.08

This should surprise anyone that’s read through the previous review.  Compared with eight years ago, Burger King’s price has gone up $1.07.  Wendy’s has gone up $2.70.  And McDonald’s has gone up $1.27.

Jesus.  What happened, Wendy’s?  BK and McD’s I can understand, what with inflation and all that jazz.  But Wendy’s burger was the smallest, yet the most expensive.  Their fries were also the most expensive, but the worst.  I don’t even know.

McDonald’s is the budget king, naturally.  Cheap as balls.  BK is pretty close, with their burger and McD’s being the same price – but Burger King’s fries were $0.60 more.

So I guess, in conclusion, fuck Wendy’s.  You won last time around, but definitely not this time.  This round’s winner is, without a doubt, Burger King.  Congrats King, you earned it and keep up the good work.

Until next year, or next time I put the time in to do this shit, peace out fuckers!

Comment or be assimilated...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.