The Bestivus History of Cars – Great White

As an aside, this post was originally going to be about Chloe the TT.  It kind of ran off the rails and I ended up talking about my history in car modifications, so I guess I’ll just leave it at that.  And before you clowns remind me of Blue Death (RIP), I never modified her, so I’m leaving her out.

ANYWHO, I guess this whole thing started back in 2007, if I had to really pin the year down.  That was when I first started getting interested in automotive modifications.  It wasn’t something I had planned, but when you need better sound from your stereo, one thing leads to another…

Her name was Great White.  A name that came following a thunderstorm that left gill-like stripes through the road grime on the front fenders.

The story goes that I had just graduated high school and was endowed with a sizeable chunk of graduation monies.  What is a newly graduated 18 year old supposed to do with $750?  Fucking blow it on stupid shit, obviously.  And that’s what I proceeded to do.

I hit up Walmart for their sweet car audio equipment.  I researched the basics of car audio.  Head units, subs, amps, wiring, grounding, the whole nine.  I remember vividly the very first thing I did – running power for the amp.  Popping the hood and having practically no idea where to start.  Where do I run the wire?  How do I get through the firewall?  Figuring out how to wire up the head unit, how to splice and solder.  It was exciting and fun.  The end product made the work all that much more worth it – the bass bumping, the better sounding music in general, having an auxiliary jack.  It was the first step of many down this road of car modifications.

Car audio enhancements naturally led to other mods.  A shit $50 fart can that I bought off an ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend.  Yep, that’s right, a fart can on an automatic Malibu with a stock 3100 V6.  It was truly brilliant, I can’t imagine what Cole Muffler thought when I brought my shitbox in to have that can mounted.  Next was the clearanced out $75 Advance Auto racing spoiler that I bolted to the trunk.  Again, on a stock, automatic Malibu with a front-wheel drive transmission.

It’s clear, looking back, that The Fast and the Furious really influenced my taste in car modifications when I started out.  The big fucking race wing that served no purpose, the loud exhaust which didn’t complement the engine in the least.  The next step, obviously, was to add Street Glow.  Yeahhhhh, you remember that shit.  The neon under glow?  I was practical about it though – I knew that running it on the outside was just asking for police interruptions.  So I decided to do it to the interior!  Floor board illumination to start, eventually leading to LED strips underneath the doors.  Even now looking back, that shit was so tight.  The switches were wired up nice and pretty; I was proud as hell of those lights, and still am considering how little I knew at the time.

It was a massive, massive pile of contradictions, but despite all of that, I was truly proud of my creation.  Looking back it’s kind of embarrassing, but I own it fully.  It’s where I started, and everyone has to start somewhere.

Next on our trip down Car Mod Memory Lane is the City of Lights.  Sin City.



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