And 365 Days Later…

It’s cliche as hell, but a lot can happen in a year.  Profoundly life changing events, changes of habit, moments of happiness, moments of sadness.  I say that despite turning 30 this year, and realizing it’s been 12 years since I graduated high school.  It feels like time has absolutely flown by, and yet when you break down the last 365 days into their individual triumphs and defeats, it feels like the longest time span imaginable.

But yeah, today marks officially one year since I committed myself to getting healthier.  It was November 14th, 2017 that this whole thing got started.  It was around that time I got promoted to the Systems Department and moved back to a regular day shift.  I’m not sure what prompted the shift from apathy, eating my feelings, and general laziness to becoming active, watching what I ate, and working to better my life – but that starting weight has been the biggest motivator.

Start Weight – 270.9
Current Weight – 211.3
Goal Weight – 200?  190?

As of this writing, I’ve officially lost 59.6 pounds over the last year.  Even now it blows my mind.  I put on my winter jacket for the first time (I hate snow) this season, and it was loose.  Like, almost awkwardly loose.  My work pants are several inches too big now.  Shirts that used to fit snugly hang weirdly on me now.  It’s a problem, but I guess if I had to take a problem it’d be that kind. 

It was May 31st that I first ordered my Saucony running shoes.  I haven’t actually put any effort into running, because of my flat feet, but I’ve walked.  I’ve walked a shit load.  I’ve walked in the sweltering 90+ degree heat, pouring rain, and sub-freezing wind.  Since May of this year, I’ve walked…

427.9 Miles

According to Runkeeper anyway.  Not bad for nearly 6 months.  The shoes are shot at this point, so new ones will be getting purchased before spring time.  Now that the weather has turned to garbage, I’ve signed up at Planet Fitness to keep this train rolling.  I’ve been lifting free weights in the apartment the last few weeks, and I can already see some slight (super slight) definition in my arms.

It was around May that I also picked up my Fitbit Charge 2.  I’ll admit I fought the suggestion of getting one by my girlfriend at the time, but I gotta hand it to her – she was on to something.  It’s a fitness tracker, not a smart watch, which means it focuses on fostering healthy habits, not apps or distractions.  Tracks steps and heart rate throughout the day, which gets you a more accurate picture of your caloric burn.  

Which leads into the next key player of this thing – tracking calories.  I’ve stayed diligent these last 52 weeks in keeping track – honestly keeping track – of how many calories I put into my body.  That’s the real trick.  It’s easy to “forget” to jot down that donut you had earlier.  It’s easy to track your calories with a little bit of a conservative edge.  But all that does is hurt your bottom line.  You’re using those numbers to make smart choices, and if you’re working off bad information, you’re more likely to make more bad choices.

Even if I’m an absolute pig one day (which has happened), I accurately and honestly track those numbers down.  Seeing me be 1500+ calories over my goal for the day sucks, but it is what it is.  And cheat days aren’t the end of the world, let’s be honest.  It’s when every day is a cheat day that you need to correct yourself.

And then there’s the stress and bullshit of everyday life.  It isn’t easy watching what you eat, remaining active, and trying to stay focused when there’s negative things going on in your life.  Whether that be drama with friends, stress from a new job or new position at work, or a depressing breakup with your significant other.  Been down those roads a couple times the last year.

I’ll be honest, I was emboldened to kick my healthy habits into overdrive when I found myself in a relationship after quite a few years of being single.  It makes sense, there’s a sense of “I can do anything” and “I’m on top of the world” and “I want nothing more than to impress this person” that drives you forward with more energy than you can imagine.  Looking at my weight loss you can see when that happened, I went from a minor, gradual decline to a sharp, rapid one.

But long story short, things happened and that situation had to end.  And regardless of what side of a breakup you’re on, there’s obviously a mental component to the aftermath, but there’s also a physical part of it too.

In my case, my resting heart rate was nearly 30 BPM higher than normal.  My sleep cycle was trash.  My weight loss stopped.  In fact, I gained 5 pounds simply because I didn’t care anymore.  I was depressed and just wanted to drown myself in all the bad habits I had moved past.  Emotional eating, smoking again, sleeping the day away.  I just didn’t care because all my attention was on the pain I was in.

But I never lost sight of the progress I had made.  I forced myself to get back on the horse, shut the hell up, and get back to business.  If you ever find yourself falling back into old habits – don’t beat yourself up about it.  We found our way out of the darkness once and we can without a doubt do it again.

So now that the winter months are upon us, walking outside as a form of cardio is out.  Unless you wanna deal with slush and all that garbage, anyway.  So that’s where a gym membership comes into play.  I’m still working on when I want to go – morning or nights – but the ability to get your cardio in while inside, plus hitting your strength and weight training, is a must have during the winter.  This is without a doubt the worst time to get in shape or try to maintain your weight.  Outside activities, if you aren’t already into them, like snowboarding or skiing, are hard to pick up and commit to.  But the gym is just down the road, and some of them are open 24 hours during the week.  Pretty killer.

And so, here’s to the last year of proving the haters wrong.  And here’s to the next 365 days of refining, weight loss, hydration, and getting SWOLE.  If the last year is any indication, nothing is out of reach.  

2018, Year of the Best

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, which isn’t terribly surprising.  I’m not one of those peeps that make a point to write something at least once a day.  I’m like, once every 6 months at this point.  But yeah, I figured it’s update time since I’ve got a free minute and there’s nothing else pressing at this point.

Soooooo, life is pretty grand!  The jist of this whole post is that 2018 is literally going to be my year.  We’re mid-April but things have been pretty stellar since this year started.  Let’s break it down:

I quit smoking.  This has been a thorn in my side for at least the last couple years.  There’s been a solid two stretches that I’ve quit before – the first being in 2011 when I was dating my ex, and I quit for her.  Naturally when that ended, I picked it back up.  The second stretch was while I was my last job.  Naturally when that ended, I picked it back up.  So now we’re on the third real attempt at kicking the habit, and so far so good.  I’ve had some fall-off-the-wagon moments, but there’s a concerted effort going on so I’m feeling pretty good about it.  The real difference this time is that I’ve improved my coping mechanisms in dealing with stress.  People that have never smoked or never tried quitting don’t get just how addictive nicotine is, but believe it, it’s insane.  I had a lot of reasons to quit, but never truly had the motivation to until recently, so I’m pretty thankful for that.

In addition to quitting smoking, I’ve really focused on improving my health in general.  I started buying groceries, which for me was unheard of.  Cooking at home, and paying attention to the nutrition and healthiness of my choices.  It hasn’t been easy, by any stretch.  When your body has been running on processed foods, fast food, high fat, high calorie options for years, it doesn’t just go willingly into this new era.  It hits home when I think about this article I read years ago about what’s called an Extinction Burst.  Basically, it is what happens when your body forms a habit and you attempt to break that habit – when the habit is threatened with extinction.  Your body deals with being cut off to a point where it throws a tantrum in one last attempt to get you to go back to the habit.  The link explains it a lot more in depth, but it’s a truly fascinating read.

So I’ve been eating better.  I haven’t had a soda in over a month, I drink water on the regular, been cooking at home a majority of the week, and I’ve even been a lot active physically.  Hiking a couple times a week, and a couple days ago got back on a bike for the first time in years.  You might remember back in the day I was riding my bike like a mofo, you know, 30 mile tides and all of that?  Well my most recent ride was barely 5 miles and it absolutely wrecked me.  I hurt all over.  Granted it was a mountain bike that is far too small for me, but that just made it clear how out of shape I’ve gotten.

I’ll be honest, midway through that last paragraph I tried to find the posts about my weight loss and all that jazz.  In particular, these two posts:

Fuck Your Title (04/09/2013)
Fuck Your Title – Redux (04/09/2015)

Ironic that they were both the same day, two years apart.  And here I am getting back on the health kick three years after the last.

But anyway, I was trying to find those two posts and ended up copying a bunch from The Wayback Machine, since my database got deleted when my hosting lapsed a while back.  It was fun reading my thoughts from years ago, so I guess it isn’t such a bad idea to keep blogging.  Just gotta make sure I don’t lose months or years worth of entries.  We’re self-hosted now, so I can’t foresee these latest posts disappearing, but I’m definitely going to be keeping better backups.

So I got sidetracked finding those posts and now I can’t remember what I was on about.  Guess it’s a good point to wrap this up then, deuces!

RIP Orangie

So, it was kind of a rough evening tonight/yesterday.  I usually head to work at 11:30, and as I’m walking to my car I notice a State Trooper pulled over by my neighbor’s house.  Right before I get into my car, I can see what he’s doing in the light from his headlights – moving Orangie from the road to my neighbor’s lawn…

I never did know what his/her actual name was, but Orangie seems to fit and I’ll just assume she was a she.  She was really the friendliest cat you can imagine, but she had a weary, cautious nature – something she learned from being an outdoor cat, I can assume.  If you moved too fast, she’d run a few feet and then come back for more rubs.  She was a little tubby, and her tail was broken in the middle so when she ran, the end half of her tail would just flop around.  It was pretty comical.

Sometimes I’d get home from wherever, and she’d just sit in the grass waiting for me to get out of my car.  Then she’d walk over and start rubbing your legs like cats do with people they like.  It was endearing.  One time I was bullshitting with Mike and Branden in the parking lot and she just came over and started rubbing all three of us.  The picture above I took literally the day before she died, focused on hunting something or other in the brush.

It sucks, and she wasn’t even my cat.  You’ll be missed, Orangie.

Arguing Politics & Taking A Step Back

I feel compelled to write this post based on an exchange I had earlier this evening.  A long time acquaintance and I got into a political debate which quickly devolved into an argument.  A quite serious argument – one with personal attacks, insults, the whole nine.  You might be wondering what started this exchange, but really that information is irrelevant.  Attempting to justify an argument based on what started it isn’t the right way to go about things.

It got heated.  And taking a step back now, I don’t know why.  It could have been born out of arrogance, maybe.  Or that we both knew our own stances so intimately, that an opposing view point couldn’t possibly be right.  Either way, the original point of contention was lost many comments earlier.  Before it had turned into a shitshow.

After 10 minutes of attempting to write a rebuttal, I got a chat notification.  It was from the person on the other side of the argument.  In its simplest form, it was an apology for letting things get out of hand on their part.  But once I reread it a few more times, it became a lot more than that.  It made me stop and consider my own actions up to that point.  I had just as much of a reason to apologize as he did – maybe even more so – but I didn’t.  The thought never even entered my mind.

Why didn’t it?

It got me thinking.  Have I been here before?  Are there times I should have apologized for taking things too far, but never did?  Maybe I’m too set in my political beliefs to realize when I’m being a dick?  Fuck.  That’s some heavy shit to consider.

It’s not so much whether either of us were right or wrong, it was about recognizing when its time to step back and consider how you’re handling yourself.  Too many times when it comes to politics, derogatory terms are thrown about – libtard, cuck, liberal, conservative, etc.  Honestly that tends to happen whenever there are any two competing lines of thought.  It escalates beyond the discussion and enters the realm of insult and argument.  In politics’ case, it does nothing except further this divide the country is experiencing.

Seeing that apology made me realize what a piece of shit I was being at that moment.  There will always be debate when it comes to politics, that’s how things have to be.  But that doesn’t mean respect for our opponents goes out the window.  We all belong to this country, and this country belongs to all of us.  It’s time to start remembering that more often.

Postgame Review

As the last sunset I’ll see here in Nebraska sets, I’m thinking about the last few days.  A lot of sights, a lot of laughs, and a lot of awesome memories.  We came out here for my cousin Lorrin and my new cousin-in-law Garret’s wedding, but this trip ended up being about so much more than that.

Speaking personally, I haven’t been out of CNY very many times.  The times that I have left, I don’t seem to recall being as influenced by my destination as I was this time.  Kansas, Florida, Indiana.  All places I’ve traveled to in the past, but this place in particular really sucks to have to leave.  Maybe it’s the people I’m with, or the people I’m visiting; all I know is that this is one I won’t soon forget.

Spending the evening with my cousin, even though I was dead beat from the road, was one of the major highlights of the trip.  Just bullshitting in her car while cruising around Nebraska.  Showing me the sights and places of importance – where she used to work, the school she went to, where my aunt got her first car – the places we all have in our own home towns, but that we never really stop to think about.

The restaurants and joints we hit up over the last few days.  Qdoba, Spaghetti Works, Which Wich.  I’ll be putting together a review of these places in the days to come, you better believe that.

And most importantly, the wedding itself.  The beautiful service performed by my uncle, the vows from the bride and groom.  The reception too, despite the DJ not showing up.  I’m glad we made the trek out to share the day with my favorite cousin on her day.  And I’m honored to have Garret as a new cousin.

It’s been an amazing trip to the midwest, and I can’t wait to make it out here again.