I’d like to take a moment to thank the fucking lord that March is almost over. I hate this month, always have and always will. 31 days of trash. Not knowing whether it’s going to be sunny and 50s, or blizzarding and in the teens. Can never trust this month, but it’s almost over. April is upon us, and for that we should celebrate.Continue reading
It’s cliche as hell, but a lot can happen in a year. Profoundly life changing events, changes of habit, moments of happiness, moments of sadness. I say that despite turning 30 this year, and realizing it’s been 12 years since I graduated high school. It feels like time has absolutely flown by, and yet when you break down the last 365 days into their individual triumphs and defeats, it feels like the longest time span imaginable.Continue reading
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, which isn’t terribly surprising. I’m not one of those peeps that make a point to write something at least once a day. I’m like, once every 6 months at this point. But yeah, I figured it’s update time since I’ve got a free minute and there’s nothing else pressing at this point.
Soooooo, life is pretty grand! The jist of this whole post is that 2018 is literally going to be my year. We’re mid-April but things have been pretty stellar since this year started. Let’s break it down:
I quit smoking. This has been a thorn in my side for at least the last couple years. There’s been a solid two stretches that I’ve quit before – the first being in 2011 when I was dating my ex, and I quit for her. Naturally when that ended, I picked it back up. The second stretch was while I was my last job. Naturally when that ended, I picked it back up. So now we’re on the third real attempt at kicking the habit, and so far so good. I’ve had some fall-off-the-wagon moments, but there’s a concerted effort going on so I’m feeling pretty good about it. The real difference this time is that I’ve improved my coping mechanisms in dealing with stress. People that have never smoked or never tried quitting don’t get just how addictive nicotine is, but believe it, it’s insane. I had a lot of reasons to quit, but never truly had the motivation to until recently, so I’m pretty thankful for that.
In addition to quitting smoking, I’ve really focused on improving my health in general. I started buying groceries, which for me was unheard of. Cooking at home, and paying attention to the nutrition and healthiness of my choices. It hasn’t been easy, by any stretch. When your body has been running on processed foods, fast food, high fat, high calorie options for years, it doesn’t just go willingly into this new era. It hits home when I think about this article I read years ago about what’s called an Extinction Burst. Basically, it is what happens when your body forms a habit and you attempt to break that habit – when the habit is threatened with extinction. Your body deals with being cut off to a point where it throws a tantrum in one last attempt to get you to go back to the habit. The link explains it a lot more in depth, but it’s a truly fascinating read.
So I’ve been eating better. I haven’t had a soda in over a month, I drink water on the regular, been cooking at home a majority of the week, and I’ve even been a lot active physically. Hiking a couple times a week, and a couple days ago got back on a bike for the first time in years. You might remember back in the day I was riding my bike like a mofo, you know, 30 mile tides and all of that? Well my most recent ride was barely 5 miles and it absolutely wrecked me. I hurt all over. Granted it was a mountain bike that is far too small for me, but that just made it clear how out of shape I’ve gotten.
I’ll be honest, midway through that last paragraph I tried to find the posts about my weight loss and all that jazz. In particular, these two posts:
Ironic that they were both the same day, two years apart. And here I am getting back on the health kick three years after the last.
But anyway, I was trying to find those two posts and ended up copying a bunch from The Wayback Machine, since my database got deleted when my hosting lapsed a while back. It was fun reading my thoughts from years ago, so I guess it isn’t such a bad idea to keep blogging. Just gotta make sure I don’t lose months or years worth of entries. We’re self-hosted now, so I can’t foresee these latest posts disappearing, but I’m definitely going to be keeping better backups.
So I got sidetracked finding those posts and now I can’t remember what I was on about. Guess it’s a good point to wrap this up then, deuces!
So, it was kind of a rough evening tonight/yesterday. I usually head to work at 11:30, and as I’m walking to my car I notice a State Trooper pulled over by my neighbor’s house. Right before I get into my car, I can see what he’s doing in the light from his headlights – moving Orangie from the road to my neighbor’s lawn…
I never did know what his/her actual name was, but Orangie seems to fit and I’ll just assume she was a she. She was really the friendliest cat you can imagine, but she had a weary, cautious nature – something she learned from being an outdoor cat, I can assume. If you moved too fast, she’d run a few feet and then come back for more rubs. She was a little tubby, and her tail was broken in the middle so when she ran, the end half of her tail would just flop around. It was pretty comical.
Sometimes I’d get home from wherever, and she’d just sit in the grass waiting for me to get out of my car. Then she’d walk over and start rubbing your legs like cats do with people they like. It was endearing. One time I was bullshitting with Mike and Branden in the parking lot and she just came over and started rubbing all three of us. The picture above I took literally the day before she died, focused on hunting something or other in the brush.
It sucks, and she wasn’t even my cat. You’ll be missed, Orangie.
I feel compelled to write this post based on an exchange I had earlier this evening. A long time acquaintance and I got into a political debate which quickly devolved into an argument. A quite serious argument – one with personal attacks, insults, the whole nine. You might be wondering what started this exchange, but really that information is irrelevant. Attempting to justify an argument based on what started it isn’t the right way to go about things.
It got heated. And taking a step back now, I don’t know why. It could have been born out of arrogance, maybe. Or that we both knew our own stances so intimately, that an opposing view point couldn’t possibly be right. Either way, the original point of contention was lost many comments earlier. Before it had turned into a shitshow.
After 10 minutes of attempting to write a rebuttal, I got a chat notification. It was from the person on the other side of the argument. In its simplest form, it was an apology for letting things get out of hand on their part. But once I reread it a few more times, it became a lot more than that. It made me stop and consider my own actions up to that point. I had just as much of a reason to apologize as he did – maybe even more so – but I didn’t. The thought never even entered my mind.
Why didn’t it?
It got me thinking. Have I been here before? Are there times I should have apologized for taking things too far, but never did? Maybe I’m too set in my political beliefs to realize when I’m being a dick? Fuck. That’s some heavy shit to consider.
It’s not so much whether either of us were right or wrong, it was about recognizing when its time to step back and consider how you’re handling yourself. Too many times when it comes to politics, derogatory terms are thrown about – libtard, cuck, liberal, conservative, etc. Honestly that tends to happen whenever there are any two competing lines of thought. It escalates beyond the discussion and enters the realm of insult and argument. In politics’ case, it does nothing except further this divide the country is experiencing.
Seeing that apology made me realize what a piece of shit I was being at that moment. There will always be debate when it comes to politics, that’s how things have to be. But that doesn’t mean respect for our opponents goes out the window. We all belong to this country, and this country belongs to all of us. It’s time to start remembering that more often.